Alaska

I am going to Alaska on Sunday.

I don’t blog often, and nobody reads this.

I think I’ll just start writing regularly when the Fall semester starts.

Back in the Bay Area, Not so happy about that.

Well, now I am back in the Bay Area now..and I’m not happy. I wish I could be with my boyfriend right now. But, alas, I can’t so I’m trying to make the best of it. But it is really difficult because I have different groups of friends, some of which talk, some who don’t, so it makes it difficult to make plans to see everybody, besides the fact that some people aren’t friends with me or each other due to drama.

I really miss Humboldt. I’m craving the Redwoods, cooler weather, my friends and most of all Band. Domino just came on my iTunes..!

I saw Wicked last night in San Francisco. It was AMAZING! I had some trouble with my family earlier, but after watching the musical it really made me feel better. (Now Gravity by the Dresden Dolls came on)

The internet in my room is really messed up. Argg…

Not much else to say right now. I have to finish cleaning my room, I have clothes that I brought to school all over my room and house.

All previous Blogs on other blog sites…

Posting them all into here, just for future reference.

Entitled “Me” written May 30, 2007.

This is me.

-I’m a band geek, deal with it.

- People always seem to think “i’m some kind of good girl” or something, which is a lie. I don’t want that image, I dont want any image at all. i want people to say hey thats alana. not hey theres that nerd alana lets go copy her hw or something. now, I have no problem with that, but its just i feel like I’m not getting that ” full high school experience”.

-yes, I do like drinking. And no, having a drink does not make me an alcoholic, it makes me human.

- I have a great sense of humor. I’m not stuck up, I’ll laugh at pretty much any joke ( sometimes I cant really tolerate racist jokes). But yes, that includes everything else. Ty to video games for corrupting my mind, lolz.

- I really want to be a therapist in the future, like really badly. Ask me for advice sometime! I might not have had the exerpiences, but I know lots about them.

- I’m pretty damn good at giving back massages, everyone thinks I should open my own business!

- Just because my dad owns and is the founder of Schoolloop, does not make my family or me rich.

- I love music. I love listening to music. I love dancing to music. I love making music.

- I love writing, I love writing about tons of different things. Somethings I share with everyone, somethings I write just to get my feelings out.

- Why am I so emo? Because, I’m a teenager. I’m naturally emo. But why am I actually emo? Because I’m lonely. Not lonely in the “I have no friends ” sense, but lonely in the ” realtionship” sense. It just seems that before Spring Break my life was great, then after it just went down the drain. I just dont understand sometimes.

-Do I want a boyfriend? Yes, no duh.

- I find that songs usually have ALOT to do with whats going on in my life. So its not ironic that all these songs just make sense…>_<

I will keep this updated.

1st Update:

- Basically, I keep thinking about something thats annoying me. And I always need something to keep my mind off of those things. When I’m alone, I think.. alot. And sometimes, that can turn me realllly emo and stuff, and I hate it, because I shouldn’t be emo because of a certain person/reason. GRR. And when I listen to those songs that remind me of a particular thing, it really doesn’t make me feel any better.  I just…don’t know what to do.

2nd Update
-I’ve Decided just to give up on love, or liking anyone in general. everytime i like someone, i always get my heart broken, people say ” oh the time will come” but when,.. never.. thats when. i just, give up. I’ve only EVER gotten my heart broken and i’ve lost all confidence with ever being in a relationship.
3rd Update
(on request)

After all that complaining, and just plain.. lol sillyness.. I’ve realized im not going to give up on any of it, and I’ve gained some new confidence thanks to some wise words from a friend

Entitled:  Fallen back into the same old Pit. Written May 9, 2007.

well it seems that I’ve fallen back inot the pit..
again…

grr…

I was doing so well for a few weeks, barley even thinking about you or anything that had to do with you, I was much happier, but of course still a little sad

now im back to where ive started

and it really sucks because I tried so hard not to fall into that pit again, but it seems like even trying my hardest won’t help.

ugh now all im going to do is think about you
why did I even have to bother!

whyyyy! why did I even start?

I just can’t understand myself sometimes.
I was depressed for a long time, now it finally passes, and its right back again. I don’t even know anymore. Whats the point of even fucking trying.

Entitled: “Feelings”. Written March 29, 2007.

you want it to stop
but it just tears at you
and you try to forget
but it keeps coming back

and it wont leave you alone that dreaded feeling you have inside, sometimes it feels like a disease other times  it feels like your the happiest person in the world

these are just my current feelings. I don’t even know anymore.

a feeling of regret, and hatred for doing this to myself.

*not trying to be emo, just random thoughts*

Entitled:  “Time to Rant”. Written March 12, 2007.

why is it that the people who make the most sense in the world to you , you can’t be with? why does the world work like that? why does the world stick you into a room with all these jerks and say have fun… why? I dont understand! And no this isnt being fucking emo, this is just wondering why the world always seems to be working against you? not you as in YOU but you as in everyone.. me , you, her ,him . Everyone always complains that the world is against them, its true. to each person, different things make them seem like they are being ousted. Maybe its that they’re not included in something, or whatever. But why does it seem that the people you care for the most are so close, yet so far away? If the world knows that your going to find these people, why arent we closer together? people face this problem everyday and im one  of those people…ARG!!!! Also rules, rules about who you  you can see, who you can’t see, rules about voting, about drinking, about everything! AHHH!!!! Save me!

Flogging Molly

Basically

Friday night, was one of the best nights of my life. Flogging Molly came to the Arcata Community Center (obviously, in Arcata).

The evening started with 2 of my friends, and myself walking to my friends apartment for her to get changed. Then, we went to safeway, and bumped into i think 3 people who were also going to this pre-party. We got supplies needed to make things for a potluck (I had tortilla chips already, so i got some salsa haha). Then, we walked to our friends apartment and met up with a bunch of people who were also going to the concert.  We all got really um, happy! And excited. Then we walked to the concert. YAY! It was time. We went in, thinking ok, hopefully we get a good enough spot to see…jeez, you would be close even from the way back, but of course we got as close as we could (um, meaning that the stage was in the way if we tried to go any closer! hehe!)

The first band came up, called Nothing Left. LAME. We just stood there, waiting for them to be done. Then the 2nd band came up, Jackson United, they weren’t as bad as the first band, but we were ready for Flogging Molly. People starting moshing during the 2nd band too, it was fun, better then just standing around. Then, finally, it was TIME.  We were so excited (one of my friends semi-fainted, but she was quickly better after some water)

Then, they came on stage. SCREAMING FANS everywhere! Pushing, shoving. It kinda sucked being up front for the reason that at least in the mosh pit you can push people and move around slightly, When you have a stage in front of you, its obviously not that easy. Anyways, it was worth it being right up front.

The concert itself was AMAZING. The whole time i was just in shock at how close FLOGGING MOLLY was to me! It was crazy! Matt, the accordion player, ended up highfiving me multiple times! And Bridget, the fiddler, gave me her water bottle that she wasn’t going to drink, and at the end of the show she also gave me the song setlist!!!!!!

I also ended up meeting and taking a picture with NATE the BASSIST! (Who is really cute…)

YAY!

Stage right before Flogging Molly came up!

Flogging Molly tonight!

AHHH! I’m so EXCITED! Tonight is the Flogging Molly concert I’ve been waiting for since June! Ahhhh!!!! It is going to be TRULY EPIC!

I went HOME!

Well, over the weekend I went home. It was mainly influenced by the fact that I had no Football games or any other band gigs. Also, the fact that my friends kept asking me when I was coming home. It worked out perfectly, because my parents had just come up the weekend before to visit, so i would mainly be able to spend time with my friends, which I was, of course, super excited about. So, instead of checking the rideboard list or anything, I just got a ticket from Greyhound. It was kind of icky, but there weren’t many sketchy people. But the weekend was already kicking off to a negative start…our bus got in late to SF and my dad got stuck in traffic picking me up, so i was left waiting at the sketchy station for 30 min, which wasn’t too bad, i was just impatient from travelling all day. So, we got to my house, then one of my friends came over for dinner and we went out to just hang out, which we hadn’t in two months. Which is when i found out that the only time i was seeing her was that night, which really upset me…I mean, im still bothered by it. Please, don’t call me and text me saying you can’t wait to see me if you really don’t care all that much… I would have ratherd you just straight up tell me that you were going to be too busy to really spend any time with me, then tell me you can’t wait can’t wait, then end up FALLING ASLEEP on the couch… Ugh. Anyways, Saturday was a semi-dissappointment as well, I thought I was going to be able see more people and I didn’t. oh well, plans change. I was able to spend a nice afternoon with my family though watching the Blue Angels, then I headed to Haight Street and stocked up on some green accessories @ Piedmont for Band! Yay! Then, Saturday night I went to Rocky Horror Picture Show @ midnight in Oakland with a few friends, which was really fun!! Sunday was a nice relaxing morning, going out to Breakfast before I had to take the Bus home, in which a friend was on too, so it was nice. Besides the Bloodstained Man.

Today, I’m leaving you with a video of the Marching Lumberjacks…(this is from our September 13th Field Show! My first MLJ field show!)

Well…

my first *official* blog…yay! I remember in the past, when “blogging” first came on to popularity, I had probably one on every site… I think I used Xanga a little bit. Then, of course it went to myspace and facebook…etc. Probably no one will even read this, but if they do, awesome. Well, if they do or don’t, let me tell you a little about myself. I’m an 18 year old female, currently a Freshman at Humboldt State University, in Northern California. I’m involved with the Marching Lumberjacks (the school’s World Famous Scatter-Marching Band), and hope to possibly get involved with more things around campus soon.  I have many liberal beliefs and views, which i will probably discuss on here openly, as well. So if you have a problem..just move on to the next blog. I’ll leave you with a video…